Let's start by saying I do not have my shit together. I don't, I won't, and I'm okay with that. It defines who I am. I'm a hot mess. But I own it. I rock it. I try really hard. I want to have my shit together. I really do. But at the end of the day, all I can do is laugh at all of my imperfections. I'll never be perfect, and that's okay. I don't pretend to be something I'm not, and I don't want to be something I'm not. I'm me. I'm a mess. And that's fine. This is who I am supposed to be. I do not have my shit together.
I have a five-star family. These people are fantastic in every way. They are funny, loving, and so great to be around. They are my rock. They are my ride or die. That being said...my siblings and I fight like cats and dogs even though we are grown adults. 35, 30, and 20. Yep. We literally tattle tail on each other like children. My parents still yell at me like a grounded high school kid when I deserve it. And I cry and run away. I often misplace things, break things, forget things, lose my temper, and make a mess. At my parents' house...I do not have my shit together.
I am smart. I like to read and write. I grew up doing well in school. I'm in college now, I'm ahead of the game, I have more credits than I need, I will graduate and get my degree, but it's different. College classes are more difficult. It's easy to get lazy. It's easy to slack off. It's easy to get lost and confused. It's easy to pick a party or a nap over that extra credit assignment you didn't think you'd need (but totally do need...and don't realize it until it's too late). It's easy to go out of town on a spontaneous road-trip when you should be studying in the library all weekend. Whoops. At school...I do not have my shit together.
Having a house of my own has taught me so much about responsibility. Dishes to be washed, laundry to be folded, trash to be taken out, rooms to be cleaned. Granted, those are things we grew up doing in our parents' houses, but not without a whole family's efforts. Not to mention 4 other girls as my roommates, whose personalities, schedules, and mood swings can be vastly different from one another at times. Sometimes I lay in bed all day instead of cleaning my room and studying. Sometimes I put my mug and cream cheese knife in the sink instead of the dish washer. Sometimes I let the trash pile up in the hallway because I don't want to bare the cold and walk to the dumpster. At my house...I do not have my shit together.
My personal life is not always glitzy and glamorous. I don't have a fancy wardrobe. I rarely wear makeup. I prefer a cheeseburger over a salad any day, and I can eat an entire extra large pizza by myself. I can't paint my own nails. I wear the same pair of gray Glenelg sweatpants around the house every day. My room is a mess. I suck at walking in heels. I am notorious for falling down the stairs. I do not have my shit together.
I have so many GREAT things going on in my life, too. A wonderful family, the best friends ever, the school of my dreams. I am so not complaining. I am laughing at all of my imperfections. At the end of the day, that's all you can do. We can strive so hard to be perfect, and it will never, ever happen. We can spend every dollar we have on all the latest trends to keep up, or we can save every penny in order to grow our wealth. We can run on the treadmill until we fall over and pass out, or we can say forget it and order a large pizza that will go straight to our thighs. We can spend a night out on the town looking our absolute best, making a ton of mistakes and ending up hanging over the toilet the next day, or we can stay in and watch a movie by ourselves and mope and feel like a loser. You can look at it as a win-win, or you can look at it as a lose-lose. You'll never completely win, but you'll never completely lose. Life is so beautiful BECAUSE of these imperfections. When it all comes down to it...just follow your arrow wherever it points:
We're all a hot mess in some way or another...some of us more than others...but it's all gonna be okay. Hold onto the good things you DO have together. Love yourself no matter what. Forgive yourself for your mistakes and learn from them. Or try to. Just do the best you can in this life...strive to get your shit together, but remember that you probably never completely will. Then laugh and order a pizza.
From one hot mess to another...good luck. We got this.