It's been nearly two years since I was regularly posting on this thing. It's been almost a year since I've posted on it at all. I haven't forgotten about blogging, but I let it slip away from me. There's a lot of content here that I look back on and laugh at and wonder why I ever wrote it in the first place. But I guess that's the thing about writing: it's all about moments. What you think, what you feel, what you want, what you release...in a moment.
I gave up on this site. It's not that I don't want to be a blogger anymore. I do. In fact, I haven't checked on this website in 7 months, and I just found out today that I have 2,000 hits every single day. HOW?! When you have one successful post, your site goes viral, and it clearly never stops. That's how the Internet works.
So what is it then? Why did I stop writing? I had so many people contacting me, benefiting from this dumb little website that I made in my bedroom of my first house my sophomore year of college writing about beauty products and things that piss me off. Why'd I stop?
The truth is, I'm not completely sure. I had every intention of staying a blogger forever. Sounds silly, but I'm serious. But "life got in the way." I over-committed, and I'm doing more now than I've ever done in my entire life. Those of you who know me are A. not surprised yet B. totally perplexed. I've always been an over-committer. How could I possibly be doing more than I ever have done, when everything I've done in the past was SO much?
It's just who I am. Every single experience in which I immerse myself, I do it with my whole heart. Mind body and soul. Every job, every relationship, every conversation, every endeavor big or small - if I am passionate about it - I give it all of me. It got to the point where, somehow, I was valuing other pursuits more than I was valuing writing. And that's how it became lower on my list of priorities. And that's how it got down to one post a month. And that's how it got down to never hearing from me again.
That's how "life" works.
But I don't want to stop writing. I don't want to stop blogging. I feel a void that just hasn't settled well and probably never will, unless I make the conscious decision to fill it and start writing again. Writing gives me both release and insight. The more I write, the more I feel like I've gotten things off my chest and the more I come up with creative ideas. It's amazing how something can be so relieving and fulfilling at the same time. That's writing for me.
There's no real purpose for this post. It's not supposed to tell you what I've been up to, recommend a product, motivate you to go work out or travel the world or read a book. It's just supposed to let you know that I have every intention of coming back to blogging. Maybe not on this site, but somewhere. (That's another conversation. No new site for several months. I'll tell you why when I release it...)
I will leave you with this, though: Is there something you love that you stopped doing because "life got in the way?" Frankly, that's a stupid excuse. And I am a culprit. I think we all are. Be stronger than your excuses and be happy, or don't be and don't be. It's up to you.
Whatever that thing is, go do it. Even if it's just a little bit. Like how this little blog post serves virtually no purpose, doesn't really benefit anybody, and doesn't make a whole lot of sense. That's ok. It slowly and surely gets me back into doing something that helps fill that void that I unintentionally created myself. Why wouldn't I want to fix that? Give yourself even the tiniest bit of joy by filling your void even a little bit. Why wouldn't you?
Special thanks to everyone I love. Just for being you, and for supporting me in everything I do, big and small, brilliant or ridiculous.